Joseph HaldenMy Published Works
Light Chaser, Dark HunterWhen sunlight is currency, a guard must choose between what's done and what's right. Continue Reading ->
Time and GraceGrace breaks down and has to survive the wilderness, her car's AI, and her inner demons. Continue Reading ->
The Furgeldt CollectorA pirate cat bounty hunter must stop a frisky plot against the Catfish Queen. Continue Reading ->
Where They WentA microfiction story about possibilities. Continue Reading ->
Ad MePodcast flash story about a magical homework assignment gone wrong. Continue Reading ->
F is for FairyFeatures my satire about an idiot king and talking animals... Continue Reading ->
The next instalment in Rhonda Parrish’s ambitious alphabet anthologies, F is for Fairy, is coming out soon (May 7th). To celebrate, I have both its gorgeous cover and a list of pre-order links*! *Links at the end of the post It includes my story, “I”, a political satire featuring an idiot king and talking animals. You’ll have to read the story to find out what “I” stands for (that’s how these anthologies work–a story for each letter of the alphabet). Here is the back-cover blurb: “Anyone who believes that…
In the past few months, World Weaver Press has released the next two installments in Rhonda Parrish’s Magical Menagerie anthologies: Corvidae and Scarecrow. In Corvidae, “birds are born of blood and pain, trickster ravens live up to their names, magpies take human form, blue jays battle evil forces, and choughs become prisoners of war.” In Scarecrow, “ancient enemies join together to destroy a mad mommet, a scarecrow who is a crow protects solar fields and stores long-lost family secrets, a woman falls in love with a scarecrow, and…
In the past few months, World Weaver Press has released the next two installments in Rhonda Parrish’s Magical Menagerie anthologies: Corvidae and Scarecrow. In Corvidae, “birds are born of blood and pain, trickster ravens live up to their names, magpies take human form, blue jays battle evil forces, and choughs become prisoners of war.” In Scarecrow, “ancient enemies join together to destroy a mad mommet, a scarecrow who is a crow protects solar fields and stores long-lost family secrets, a woman falls in love with a scarecrow, and…
We all know the lovable green dinosaur from the Mario series — so lovable she was the 3rd favourite video game character in all of Japan in 2008, and voted #1 sidekick by several sites. But is Yoshi just a pipe dream, as unfeasible as dinosaur cloning from Jurassic Park? This is not a simple question, and there is no simple answer. The road to resolution takes us through the cutie’s most notable traits: 1. Yoshi reproduces asexually. Yoshi never mates with anyone, yet lays eggs regularly within…
Does believing in the disappearing cat from Alice in Wonderland qualify you as a crazy-cat-person? Let’s take a gander through the looking glass and find out. Vexing Riddles & Mannerisms Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here? The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to. Alice: I don’t much care where. The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go. Alice: …So long as I get somewhere. The Cheshire Cat: Oh,…
I probably don’t need to tell you who lives in a pineapple under the sea, but for those interested in selecting the ideal underwater dwelling, I’ve put together this helpful flow chart to get you on the right track. And here are some good reasons why you’d want to live under the sea. For the record, yes, this flowchart implies that Aqua Man would live in an aquarium. Okay, so maybe you’re not a sponge, and maybe your pants don’t happen to be square (or rectangular, as the…
As an explorer, beloved Dora is often found in the business of travel, and even more often, she is going where no one has gone before. Well, at least she’s going somewhere she hasn’t gone before. And what better tool to help her in her explorer duties than a map? She has no ordinary run-of-the-mill map, however. Would you expect anything else, really? She’s Dora the Freakin’ Explorer. The map, once Dora gives it the destination, sings a repetitive song as though it must continually reassure itself of its identity. It…
My friends, if ever you are to visit Earth, I would advise you to study human medical textbooks cover to cover before attempting anything out of the ordinary, or even anything that might seem ordinary to us. Whilst hiding amidst the displays in the space and science centre, I worked up the courage to speak to a local science enthusiast calling herself Uhura, who refreshed my heart with her open mind and willingness to discuss which star cluster is more mathematically beautiful : M45, the Seven Sisters cluster,…